Hello Loyal Brewquet consumers!
We’re very excited to announce that we have an exciting new announcement to announce. Actually I may have over sold that a bit. We’re moderately excited to announce that a member of our team has expressed some amount of interest in running the blog section of our site from now on. Apparently this is a life long dream of theirs which is great because it’s a life long dream of mine to not run a blog anymore. It’s my pleasure to introduce Darrince the Delivery Driver. Take it away Darry.
Thanks Un-named Brewquet executive! I can’t wait to get started on this journal. I literally can not wait. I won’t wait. I’m doing it now.
As the season of the sun wanes darkness consumes us all
The days are getting shorter, the nights are getting colder and the house decorations are getting decidedly spookier. Seriously spooky, delivering all these Brewquets got me on edge. I don’t know how all those kids muster up the courage to walk up past zombies and ghosts and demand candy from houses of people who are obviously psychotic murderers based solely on how they decorate. And whats with all the spider webs this time of year? Do spiders always make this much web and people have just been taking a break from cleaning it up or is it like spider mating season and all the dude spiders are all compensating with their web size to show off to all the chick spiders. I dunno it keeps me up at night.
If there’s any consolation to all the weird stuff going on It’s that dark beer season is upon us! Nitro Milk Stouts, Pumpkin Spice Winter Ales, Octoberfest Lagers, Orange Dunkels! The list of heavy dark beers with long weird titles is positively daunting this time of year. It’s easy to look up at the ridiculously extensive airport style LED beer list at Parallel 49 and get more scared than me having to walk past a bunch of mutilated burning pumpkins at every single house (WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!). I believe in you though. Sit down with a friend, order a couple flights and figure out what the hell the difference is between an Octoberfest Pumpkin Lager and a Chocolate Pumpkin Porter. They both have pumpkin in the name how different can they be?
After you’re done and you’ve gone home and barricaded yourself away from all the terrifying colourful explosions going off in the streets (IS THE PURGE REAL? IS MURDER LEGAL NOW?) Think back on all the delicious beers you drank, log on to your computer and send your friend some sort thank you gift basket for the great day the two of you shared despite the fact that society is obviously collapsing and that this is the end of the world apparently.
Just do me a favour though and whatever you order, make sure it isn’t a Brewquet. I don’t want to go outside.
Love
Delivery Driver Darrince.
[Editors note: I would like to point out that Darrince, who apparently has never heard of halloween, does not build the Brewquets themselves. We actually have an in-house Cicerone hand selecting local beers and who can absolutely tell the difference between an Octoberfest Pumpkin Lager and a Chocolate Pumpkin Porter (It’s honestly a pretty huge distinction). I’d also like to take this opportunity to mention that we have other delivery drivers who are not afraid of ghosts and will happily deliver your orders at this time of year. Please don’t stop ordering. We are very grateful for you business. That is all]
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